My Baby Girl :]

Ash here.

Thought I'd drop by to say that yesterday, June 6th, Clary gave birth to Lillian Rose Jessica Anne Laura Lee Mckinnley.
Yes, we gave her a long name, but it fits her perfectly ;]

Most of this I posted on Clary's main blog-->Sincerely, My Love, so most is just copied and pasted. But the one on there is a little more...kid friendly ;]

It was a VERY long night, but we pulled through. Clary gave a vaginal birth, meaning no c-section or anything. Though Miss Lilly was about 11 days from her due date, she is perfectly healthy. A little small, but a healthy 6 pounds 12 ounces.


So you probably want to hear the labor story, eh?

Well, here's how it went:

Friday was a very warm day here in Washington.
Clary and I were running errands, enjoying the freedom that being both graduates is, and thought we'd visit my family back in the hometown. As we start to get ready to leave and all -me at the front door, Clary getting into the car- she freezes and coughs. I look at her, she laughs at me and nods. It was time. Then there may have been a few swear words as Clary told me to grab her bag, get her into the car, call my family, have them call our friends, all the while driving to the hospital about an hours drive away.
We made it to her third contraction, where the hospital instantly grabbed a wheelchair, and pushed her away. I was frozen a minute, until the nurse beside clary looked back and said, "Are you going to be present at the birth?" Clary answered for me going : Yes, that son of a bitch that did this to me is.
Haha, gotta love birth :]

I think you know the rest, Clary was in labor for a full six hours before she was fully dialated. Of course, I was right next to Clary the whole time, and it took a while for blood to reach my hand afterwards...and I was pretty prepared for the verbal abuse I was to get haha.
Let's say "I hate you"-"I'm going to kill you you mother-fucking bastard!" etcetera etcetera came from then on
But still, that doesn't bother my self-esteem....too much haha
After Lillian was born, they just stuck her in my arms...she was small, and she was crying quietly, but once she saw me....she smiled.

That was the best day of my life...right there...Seeing my baby girl, smile at me...


Lillian Rose is next to me now, in her hospital bed cradle, sleeping away. Clary...she's getting ready to leave the hospital tonight.

I best be off.

Best wishes, and keep reading,

Ash,
Clary,
and Lillian Rose

Conversion

I have turned to the dark side and added a music play to my silent blog.

Wow, I haven't updated this in a while. For that I beg your forgiveness.


So Ash, What's been up? Besides you turning evil and never blogging here...

Well, for the sake of not getting arrested:

I got hit by a car, got a marrow transplant, got diagnosed with MS, experienced a coma, knew what the dead feels like, and put Alysa in a wheelchair for the next month or four. Oh, and did I mention that I will be a father in 12 weeks?

Hmph. How was the Coma?

Terrifying, thanks.


How's Clary and Lillian Rose?

They are amazing as ever. Lilly is moving, and Clary can't be more ecstatic and enthused about everything.

We are having the baby shower next saturday. We finished the painting job and the regular decor (Curtains, the carpet/rug, changing table) and well, we kinda went gungho.

Let's hope that Lillian Rose loves African themes and Green. Otherwise....


We're screwed.


Well, I best be off.

Keep Reading.

Ash

Sleeping on the Plus-side

Clary is staying here in almost all of the Day hours.
With the sanitary enviroment, my mother -and nurses- and granted her wish to stay here while I'm enduring Chemotherapy. She cannot exceed certain limits (such as going near the MRI equipment.
I've been prepping for my surgery. Not Chemo, but well, surgery. They're replacing much of my marrow, which they believe to be the "brain and heart" of the Leukemia. Once thats done, we'll see how I do.
I want to give a huge thanks to Alysa, who probably just let her neice see her dad.
Alysa was the only one able to donate marrow for me, so we're both sitting in hospital beds, preparing for the anesthetics and my mother, who will sure to be freaking out (even though she works here).
Because I'm eighteen, I won't be able to get marrow growth much anymore, while Alysa has a good chance. In the case that she doesn't...she'll be in a wheelchair. I feel horrible, but she says that this was her decision, and it was for the best.
Amidst my waiting, My father came back in. Clary was the tied pitbull in the corner, waiting for me to drop the leash.
We actually had a conversation, though it was slightly awkward, for Clary was laying next to me watching The Never-Ending Story...
He came in and sat down, and spilled out about how he was sorry for what he did. How he knew it was wrong, etcetera. Etcetera.
For a moment, my hatred for him subsided, and I told him it was ok. Then of course, I knew he needed a consequence for his actions, even though he didn't realize I had cancer until a few years back.
I told him he couldn't get close to Lillian Rose or Clary. At all. Physically and verbally.
He nodded and left, and Clary's and my glares followed in suit.
I really don't regret saying that, just because my protective-mind knows it was right. He would hurt them, like he hurt my family. Like he hurt me at only age six or whatever.
Well, I'm off. I'll talk later.



------------------1/27/09 Update---------------------


I turned off my computer before I was able to publish this post.
I go out of surgery a many hours ago, and you could say it went successfully. I am ordering many dozens of flowers to Alysa, because she is giving up a lot to help me.
My surgery went......ok, I suppose. They were able to replace the marrow, but they ran into a few problems. They haven't told me yet, since I've been passed out on pain killers and cranberry juice (don't even get me started on that. It's like alcohol to me) and I believe they are afraid I won't take it easily. Hence I must wait.


Well, I'll post again when I'm a little more well.....not high off painkillers and cranberry juice, haha.

Keep Reading,

Ash

Well, that was exciting..

I am back in the hospital.
I am also mad as hell.
Why Ash?
Becuase I was supposed to go on Monday, not Friday. Apparantly they had an open spot today to check in for the next week and a half, and my mom and clary went: We'll take it!
I feel completely out of the loop. You can say I'm being defiant, an idiot for not coming back. I am pesonally fine. Bone cancer and leukemia are just minor flaws that I need to overcome....by myself and with family.
But no, my family wishes to ship me off to watch The Price Is Right all day. Such joys.
My laptop has decided that the boards are not welcoming enough....or at least, it doesn't like me on there. That is why I haven't visited _twilight_ or Twilight Obsession for the longest time. Sorry.
I am still quite angry.
I know, I know.... "It's better this way. You can live longer, see Lillian Rose become a beautiful woman, stay with clary and the rest of your family and friends..."
I'm sorry to say that at times I think you're wrong there. I want to be with them now. Clary has been going unstable (no offense Clar or anything) and with Alysa being suicidal lately, I still feel this was the wrong decision...for me.
I won't be able to see Clary until tomorrow night, which to me, is quite depressing. My mom is going to be here 24/7 with Alex...(God save me) and my dad (step-father) is away to england. Where I not-so-secretly want to be. In news of Bio-father, he came in on my check-in, which in this case was an hour and a half ago. He looked at me, had hat awkward silence where you KNOW a gay baby is being born, and then he nodded and said: "Get better." and left. My mom was also staring at him like a piece of prey, ready to rip his head off...
>.>


<.<
With Jen's news of her twins, she's having a hay day with Clary. They are setting up Lillian's nursery in our house (which we got everything-a whole ten boxes- moved in) I told her to shop for me.

Recently, I had taken up a job at -bah- starbucks an my grandfather gave us about ten-thousand (to help pay for the house and furniture), so Clary and Jen will be busy driving down to Seatte and having a blast at Ikea. I'm glad they are getting along so well, it's good for them, I think.

Well, I should probably go...Price is Right is giving away new hybrid. See ya later.

Keep Reading,

Ash

Back Already

If I were still in school, tomorrow is my first day back. Luckily, with online classes in my town, I do them at night.
I have extended my holiday from the hospital. I feel that I am needed more at home now, more than I think that the hospital wants me.
My step-father and mother are debating wether Alysa should go off to Boarding School, since she is not doing her work here at home.
I am changing that, but Alysa is going into therapy.
Alysa and I have been hanging out much more. With Clary's mischeif in our wedding, the parent's wrangling with both of us, and the siblings dealing with their lives, it's nice to just have some peace and quality time. Alysa is doing better, she has released all of her locked up emotions and events from the past months and...let's just say, both of us are a bit shaken still.
Speaking of the wedding, Clary and I have decided that our wedding will be in December of this year. We're not trying to hurry things, it just settles out. We decided on a winter wedding, because then, though slippery, we can dance in the snow, which seems perfect for us. (No matter how slippery and cold things get, we'll still be together, is what we mean)
So, let's pray for snow next year!
With my staying at home, Clary and I have been shopping...for houses. Clary has agreed with me that if we buy a house, we can start getting ready for Lilly. Why so early? Because then I-and clary- won't have to freak out about doing last minute buying and putting together, and I doubt my parents want another child in their home, haha.
Clary has definitely gotten the pregnancy thing down. I have no idea how she does it. She has nothing unhealthy or something with preservatives. She snacks quite a lot, but on healthy foods. She is exercising, along with getting her social needs down. Let's just face it, Women are better than men. Haha.
We found a house, to go on with the house topic. Small rambler, three bedroom, nice and large. In other words, it was Clary Approved. It is also not that expensive, but it's still not cheap. We looked at a couple other houses, but we still have our minds set on the one house. It near both of havens (not canada), the lovely Camano Island! It's a great house, and hopefully, we can afford it. So, we'll probably be moving by march.
Oh Canada. What shall we do with you? I am now totally against Canada, it's no longer my haven. Ever since my father came, he ruined it. Speaking of which, he came back yesterday. He said: So, what's it gunna be? Livin' the bachelor's life with me, or you can change shitty diapers with her." He and Clary have a war going on. I swear, it's worse than World War I. But I told him my condition, then Clary finished for me by slapping him and yelling at him that I was not him and would never leave her for a 'drunken, homeless, never-before-met family member...ever.' Extent on the ever. Well, I couldn't say it much differently, except I might have said it a little more polite. Oh well, he got out like a newly-fixed dog, with Clary slamming the door on his attempt to change my mind.
God, I love her haha.
I'm going to leave what happened next to myself, if you don't mind, thanks...
Health wise, my symptoms are subtle, and can be eased with a few Ibeprofen every now and again. I'm on my way to a happy life, as the nurses agreed on.
My cat is mad at me. Because he never has a lap to sit on anymore. With Clary's stomach expanding, and her usually stretched out over me, he has no place to sit. He's going through withdrawals, and is now determined to make me jealous by paying more attention to the dog rather than me. Poor cat.
I also got a haircut. So in many of my pictures, those are the last memories of my long hair. It is short, but not buzz-cut short. It's...well, Clary describes it as so: Faux-hawk short. I think it makes me look like a skater...or some other guy that is not me. Oh well, thats one thing with hair: It always grows back. I like my hair now though, don't get me wong. I can see now. :)
Well, this is where my updated blog will end. Clary also wants to post on her blog, perhaps later or even tomorrow, we'll see when she passes out. Haha,

Keep Reading,

Ash


Happy New Year, 2009