Today, I was emitted to the hospital.
My leukemia is worse than we all thought, and the doctors advised me to stay out of school until my Chemotherapy was done.
Which is in 14 weeks.
I guess that I should be used to hospitals by now, but personally, I'm terrified of them. I've had so much done here, so many tears here, it pains me to remember that I may not have much longer to live. (but I'm trying to be optimistic about this ordeal)
With 14 weeks in and out of the hospital, I'm not sure if I can graduate, but my doctor and teachers all said the same thing: You'll graduate, we'll try to make an exception.
So apparently I'm still graduating.
So right now, My parents and siblings are all down in the cafeteria. Alysa and Clary decided to miss school today, and Clary's sleeping on the couch a few feet away from me.
I really don't know what to write, since I really don't know how to take this event.
I've had chemo about three times before, and right now, for some strange reason I have yet to fathom, I am more scared now than I was the first time.
Maybe it's because I had my hopes up for the future, and now that it was starting to plan out, I'm scared that I can't live those plans.
I'll be back later...when I know more what's going to happen..
~Ash
PS. Song of My Blog that I don't feel like putting up: Vienna - Billy Joel
(I know its old, but I like it, personally)
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3 comments:
I think your scared, because now you have a child on the way, and you dont want to leave him/her without a father.
Everything will be alright. It HAS to be. Cause I say so! :)
I'll keep you in my thoughts.
It's natural to be scared. And your fear of hospitals is completely understandable. Hospitals are horrible places to be, no sane person likes a hospital.
The thing I would like to know is how the hell do the doctors tell you that you are fine and "cured" one month and the a few months later they say "Guess what! Your leukemia...yeah it's actually worse."
I'm no expert on cancer, but does it really come back that fast? Or did the doctors lie? Hm....
Stay strong, Ash.
Don't give up hope, fight till the end. (the end being when you are well past 80)
Heyy im sorry to hear about today..oh just so you know....it's luna from _Twilight_
But just think positive..I can't promise that it will be perfectly fine..but I can...Keep you in my mind...So I hope everything turns out okay...
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